Script Review: [HorribleSubs] Ozma – 01 This entry was posted by brainchild.
What’s that? Ozma is based on the previously unreleased scenario written by the same old guy who wrote Space Battleship Yamato? Oh boy, does it sound like anime-saving time or what?!
r/a/ge level: 80/100. Honorifics translated, and it’s Crunchyroll.
Dark_Sage’s script review (NYI)
EighthSin’s translation review (NYI)
Ji-Hi comparisons (NYI)
“Doppler signal off the bow.”
More like, “Radar indicates something straight ahead!” She says, “Doppler [something],” which makes no sense other than that a radar system can make use of the Doppler effect. The next line is, “It’s a wide-area QTF,” which is just techno-babble from what I can tell. It could be a quadratic transfer function for an object that is moving in a non-linear fashion, but… Who am I kidding? It’s SCIENCE. I don’t gotta explain shit.
“It” should be capitalized, since “[There’s] no way [that can be true]” and “It can’t be” are two complete sentences.
It’s Ozma, the mother of all thresher maws. Okay, yeah, too much Mass Effect.
Oh yes, the first thing I think to say when I’m about to be buried under an avalanche of sand is, “Uh-oh!” Oh, wait. No, it isn’t. Something stronger like “Oh shit!” would fit. If you prefer tamer subs, “Oh no!” would’ve sufficed.
“You gotta be ready!” should be “You better be ready!” if he’s referring to the eggs. Otherwise, is the chef talking about how Sam should’ve been prepared for a hard pat on the back? Then forget the change.
Having some emphasis on “is” would be nice.
“I envy you.”
“Oh, please… You’ll make me cry.” The original is dumb.
Sam just shouted an order at Blondie out of the blue. She says “Yes” in Japanese, but “Uh, okay!” better fits the situation.
Doppler should be capitalized, but “I’ve got something!” is a better change anyway. Sure, it’s ambiguous, but it fits in context and doesn’t sound stupid.
Overall Grade: 3 thresher maws… out of 5.
The script clocks in at a measly 238 lines, so there aren’t a lot of opportunities for mistakes by the prosubs. There are a few places where phrasing and terminology could be improved or corrected (primarily the techno-babble), but overall, the quality is what you’d expect from professionals by now. It’s a solid release.