Translation review: [Hiryuu] Senran Kagura 01

The

This is the literal translation for the technique’s name. “Substitution technique” is a standard and accepted translation for it.

Weird

Why not just “I’m in a hurry here!”?

Pass

Good enough. There are some mistakes, like the one about breaking reality, but overall it’s not bad.

Pass

Just typesetting the “Fail – Excellent – Pass” grades there in red would’ve been nice.

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She lost it. I know 破損 is literally “damage”, but considering that the other ninja took her sweater, “lose” would be better.

Weird

Weird phrasing. “That’s not something to be impressed about!”

Signature

More like he’s particular about that move as a shinobi. His favorite? Signature move? Something along those lines.

Roll

Just “rolls” is a bit too general. “Sushi rolls” or something.

Shadow

This is a tricky one. お陰様で (okagesama de) does mean “thanks to you”, but in this case I think it’s “thank God” (the kage written as 蔭).

Trip

Not school trip. Fieldwork. Off-campus class.

Ending

It’s fine.

Conclusion: Great

Accuracy: 8/10; Flow: 7/10; Atmosphere: 7/10

There are some problems with accuracy, but it’s still a fine release.

This entry was posted by Vale.

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