Script Review: [Commie] Hyouka – 01 This entry was posted by brainchild.
Where did Commie steal their script from? It’s a mystery! Dohohoho.
This is as good as the show gets.
r/a/ge level: 100/100. Commie is competing against Mazui, the greatest fansub group in the world next to esteemed UTW, so they’re obviously going to catch a lot of flak for this.
No honorifics. English lyrics for the opening.
Either use “although” or nix the comma depending on how you want it to be read. This happens twice. Also, contractions! (At least when they sound good.)
I’m sure his life is Energy Star certified. I like the way the main character likens living life to be high or low energy, but I still hate the show. It’s boring as fuck. Maybe his low energy is rubbing off on me.
Commie being arbitrary (or lazy) with internal monologue and thoughts. Some lines are italicized while others aren’t.
Comma splice. The swap from rude to polite was cool, though.
This reminds me of the Fleetwood Mac song. I’m just glad that (so far) the main character’s best friend hasn’t been made to be the buttmonkey. He’s actually observant and has a mind of his own. Truly revolutionary for anime.
The lines are split, so it’s not confusing here, but this is just an example of the one place semicolons for a list would actually work in subtitles. Crazy, I know.
Comma before please.
First-year > freshman.
I guess that could look weird. Omitting “girl” from this line alone isn’t so bad. But please, stop me if you think I’m raping the Japanese language.
Those look anything but half-closed. I blame Japan for this one.
Nix the comma.
Rawr.
I didn’t bother mentioning sooner, but here is a situation where a comma before “and” could make a big difference. Commie at least elected to differentiate with the ampersand, which is a clever workaround. I know some people get really bothered when they don’t see the comma there. 😉
Accidentally a word or no? I can’t tell. It works without it, luckily, but with that approach, it would’ve been better to put quotes around the mystery name.
Or, “By the way, what are your thoughts on the mystery of the music room?”
I will never understand Japan’s fascination with Engrish. Sigh.
Why no quotes around the episode title or, more importantly, no ending punctuation?
What I liked:
The dialogue in this release was spot on. Everyone definitely had a personality being reflected in the subs. The main character was the unmotivated genius. His friend was intelligent and analytical when he wanted to be as well as a bro when the situation called for it – a truly multifaceted character in an anime. I almost wish he was the main character. The main girl was so much like a real girl – needy and annoying.
+ Excellent dialogue
+ Great character distinction
+ The girl’s catchphrase 😉
What I didn’t like:
The punctuation and minor details really added up in this release. I honestly think the dialogue deserves a 5/5. However, the overall script was brought down by some distracting punctuation, a lack of contractions at times, and a couple lines. Maybe I was just tired at the time, but some of the lines felt like they were too long for the time allotted.
– Couple lines
– Punctuation, oh boy
– Some more contractions, please
– As someone said, the font kinda sucks
Overall Grade: 4 fuck yous to Kyoani for not animating Haruhi… out of 5.
You forgot to mention that horrible main dialogue font/style. At the very least add some fucking border to it. Commie’s styling is always the worst.
Sorry but that font is awesome. It probably could use some more border though, might just play around with the style and see what I can come up with.
>serif
>awesome
>implications
Yeah, anything other than Lt Finnegan is shit.
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