Script Review: We.Scene.Now.Doki.Doki.Precure.2013.TVRip.720p.x264-Doremi (Doremi’s DokiDoki! Precure, Episode 1) This entry was posted by brainchild.
I didn’t hate the show as much as I thought I would. That’s something, right?
f/a/ggotry: 3/5 – Gay. No honorifics from what I saw, transliteration of the lyrics.
I like where this is going! Are there any good doujins of Precure? Should I check exhentai?
We’re off to a good start. I don’t even know how to describe what’s wrong with this line other than it sounds really unnatural to me. As you all know, I only use organic ingredients in my subs.
But seriously, how about “You’re free to roam around until 2 PM”? I’m being generous and not completely rewriting the line, though there are plenty of ways a competent editor could improve upon the original.
A wag of my finger to Doremi for translating hai as “okay.” We all know it means “yes.” Stop pandering to the casual anime viewers.
“The Earth” sounds bad, and “Big Pinch,” while a clever play on the crab that shows up later in the show (sorry for the spoilers), sounds really bad, too. “In a pinch” is just a shitty idiom overall, and I really don’t hear anyone say it. If you disagree, you probably live in the middle of the United States, so your opinion doesn’t matter. West side, mother fucker.
I mean, it’s possible the writers intended the pun, but I really think that’s giving them too much credit. They just love using English words because they haven’t gotten over their faggotry. (TL Note: faggotry means chunibyo. (TL Note for the TL Note: chunibyo means eighth-grader syndrome.))
Here’s a punny title: “Earth has claws for alarm! The last remaining Precure!!” Maybe this would work if the other episodes had punny titles, or you’re working for 4Kids.
Here’s a normal title: “Earth is in trouble! The last remaining Precure!!” From what I’ve heard, this is more likely to fit with future episodes and not sound like shit because you haven’t gotten to the crab part yet.
Contestant: Okay, I’ll take Fansubbing for 200.
Alex Trebek: When timing a show, you do this so a line will end after someone has finished speaking and before the scene changes.
C: What is snapping to a keyframe?
A: That is correct.
You know it’s bad when I can tell you have bad timing. This isn’t like, “Whoops, I’m one frame off while shifting.” This is like, the scene fucking changes for a good half second, no one is talking, yet the line is still there. Leechers are dumb, but they’re not that— Well, maybe they are.
“She could make it to nationals!”
This is what happens when you haven’t gone to school or maybe just imperceptive. You look like a faggot when you try to translate shit about school. If you weren’t busy staying at home or sitting alone during lunch, you’d know people say “nationals” without the “the.” It’s really annoying to see “the” creep up behind random nouns.
Another example of failing to snap to a keyframe. Don’t time in Notepad, kids!
I’m being kind of mean, and Precure is all about love and friendship, so let me try a compliment sandwich! Okay, this isn’t as bad as Dark_Sage’s timing. Now for the criticism: You’re fucking terrible. Let’s finish this off on a high note. You’re kind of on par with Sindalf.
“Nikaido! Why are you trying to pick a fight?”
The problem with the original is that the guy hasn’t fought anyone. They’re just standing there looking really gay.
“The world’s tallest skyscraper, Clover Tower, is laughing at you two.”
The line is still retarded, but it’s better than using “the world’s tallest” by itself.
Doremi in charge of natural dialogue? Nope!
Vegeta’s response is completely retarded.
Energetic Girl: Nice to meet you!
Surprised Faggot: Uh, yeah…
Or even “Uh-huh…”
I’m surprised they didn’t say “as expected of our president!” Unfortunately, they also should’ve said, “She’s so dependable!”
“Charm” sounds retarded by itself when you could’ve used a more obvious term, “spell,” e.g., “Let me teach you a magic spell.”
“Thank you, miss!” or “Thanks, lady!”
Your subs are gonna go straight to shit if you always translate onee-chan as “big sister,” onii-chan as “big brother,” or kisama as “you lowlifes.” There is such a thing as context.
Seriously though, this could be a really good theme to reference later in the show. Alas, Doremi is shit, and “throwing around your love” sounds retarded. How about “You can’t help everyone, Mana”? It would really resonate with later episodes if she failed at some point. I’m not sure, though, since this is a kids’ show, after all.
When I realize something, I totally say, “Yes, yes.” Oh wait. No, I don’t.
“Oh yeah, she’s that up and coming pop star.” s/pop\ star/idol if you’re a weeaboo faggot.
Suteki means “amazing”? But I thought that was reserved for sugoi! Doremi, I can’t stand your liberalshit.
I don’t even… I’m gonna have to call in a TLC for this shit.
Contestant: Okay, I’ll take English for 100.
Alex Trebek: A shortened form of a word or group of words, with the omitted letters often replaced in written English by an apostrophe.
C: What is a contraction?
A: That is correct.
Yeah… Fucking use contractions.
If you didn’t just see the guy collapse in the previous scene, you’d probably think he fell from somewhere up high. That’s not too farfetched considering they’re visiting a skyscraper. I guess this is what literalfags want, though.
Normal people might say, “Someone collapsed!” “Someone fell!” is simpler and works, but it sorta suffers from the same problem as the original. On the up side, at least it doesn’t sound like that one Lonely Island song.
“Go buck wild” sounds retarded – a common complaint I have with Doremi’s subs.
Why is she thanking them for the wait? She’s the one operating the elevator. Literalfags, please defend this line.
My suggestion? “Thank you for your patience,” or “Thank you for waiting,” if you really want “wait” in there.
It would help if your editor was familiar with conversational English and common idioms. This should be “I’m cutting in line!” or something. If you prefer British English (and you shouldn’t), you might say, “I’m queue jumping.”
I think Shitty_Watercolour was contracted to draw the background for this scene.
First of all, she just answered her own question if you went with Doremi’s subs. You’d have say “crab thing” if she’s actually asking for additional information.
Second, the crab’s already gone, so Mana’s really asking, “What was with that crab?”
Nice of you to release these shitty subs! Unforgivable!
(Yes, those two lines were really said by the same character.)
aers asked me if I noticed how Mana jumped like 15 feet to reach the rooftop. I did not, so I went back to see, and sure enough, she did it.
(I’d split her in two, if you know what I’m sayin’.)
How dare you translate dokidoki? I can’t accept this. I also can’t accept that this line makes no sense.
Get rid of “as.”
There are plenty of other ways to improve this line, too.
Fuckin’ Commie. Wait. This is still Doremi’s release? Okay, this is acceptable.
Did you mean ge?
I’m not even going to mention punctuation or anything.
TL;DR? It’s bad.
Their editor is obviously incompetent or nonexistent. Many lines are horribly unnatural and jolt you out of the experience. Luckily, this is a kid show, and context generally provides enough information for you to work with, if all you want to do is watch little girls transform and fight. However, I will say that I’ve learned to not judge a gay-looking book by its cover today. Precure isn’t all about the flashy transformations and fighting. It seems pretty character driven, so you’re going to want to the characters to be properly characterized through the dialogue.
From what I’ve seen, choosing Doremi over Commie is like choosing CGRascal over Little White Butterflies (or something). If you just want to masturbate to little girls, CGRascal is enough. But if you want to truly appreciate the characters’ motivations and budding romances, you gotta go for that top-shelf LWB. Likewise, Commie > Doremi, unless you’re a f/a/ggot of the highest order.
Mana is the best Precure.
That is all.