Not Red Reviews

#valerave asked me to do this because ???

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Let’s get right to it.

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You meant “The Year of Our Lord 71,” right? Anno Domini is the only good Gundam timeline, anyway. You heard me right, Kyhz.

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We’re off to a good start. This sentence literally makes no sense. I get what the line is supposed to mean, though. “They’re deciding who gets to the use the grounds by way of an eating contest.” That would be a decent enough edit, assuming you wanted to use “by way of.”

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“Isn’t it nice? It’s so peaceful.”

brainchild #1 editor.

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“I told you I didn’t want to do this.”

Unless I’m missing something, the thing the MC doesn’t want to do, the eating contest, is already over.

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I like the use of an idiomatic expression here, though I do have a suggestion: “When the going gets tough, Haruto gets going.” It plays off the prepositional phrase’s original idiom, “When the going gets tough, the tough get going,” which has multiple interpretations. One interpretation is that when things get tough, the truly strong face the challenge. Another, the one that best fits this situation, is that when things get tough, the so-called tough guys actually leave because they aren’t tough at all. It would really fit with the whole Haruto’s-a-total-pussy thing going on.

He’s a bigger pans than Shu, if that’s even possible.

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And this is the next line, which is a doozy to work with. This is what Haruto says, but it’s just such a shitty comeback. It really draws attention to the shitty writing of the show, not really the fault of the subs. Really, the only way of making this not so jarring is to completely ignore the T-shirt part and translate the intent of the line: he doesn’t want to hear that kind of shit from Shoko.

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Having multiple and multi- together is not so great. It draws undue attention to the subs and is a little cumbersome to read. Removing “multiple” altogether is one solution. Another would be to change multinational to “transnational.”

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 The top line works, but most people, especially those who are educated, call the military a form of defense. I’m assuming Dorssia is a nation or some shit, so it’s more likely a teacher would say, “Dorssia focused on defense spending, whereas the ARUS focused on economy building,” or something. Using “whereas” is excellent for comparing and contrasting.

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Lewd.

I’m gonna encroach the shit out of you.

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Two independent clauses? Use a colon.

At least the first sentence must be complete, if you want to use a colon, which it is in this case.

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Going to the dogs is kind of an out-of-place idiom. I guessed the meaning based on context, but I had to look it up to be sure. Honestly, though, the script already has its fair share of swearing, and these guys are the bad guys or something (I think… I watched this a while ago), so why not use “shit” here?

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All the time > the whole time.

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I hate this character archetype so much. At least here and in Nisekoi. It’s bearable in Tamako Market.

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This guy’s a delinquent and kind of a douche. Would he really say this?

It’s more like, “God damn, do you have a stick up your ass or what?”

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I’d split her in half, if you know what I’m sayin’.

Also, is that an actual saying in Japan? I don’t even know. It’s pretty ridiculous.

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inb4 “omg Japanese doesn’t have swear words”

I love swearing in subs when it’s done appropriately. You can’t just throw them around every line. You gotta make those precision strike F-bombs. This is one of those precision strikes. Shit’s going down, your friends are dying, and so on. That’s the right time to just scream, “What the fuck is going on?!”

There’s some more casual swearing in the show, and it really fits the high school theme. Good stuff.

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Kyhz #1 fansubber.

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TL;DR? It’s good… enough.

What I liked:

• Overall, very good, casual dialogue for high schoolers
• Uh… Don’t remember much else

What I didn’t like:

• Idiom usage sometimes negatively affected characterization

This entry was posted by brainchild.