The Law of Signs This entry was posted by brainchild.
From Not Red Reviews, the worst blog ever
Exhibit A.
According to the law of sines,
a / sin A = b / sin B = c / sin C,
where a, b, and c are the lengths of the sides of a triangle, and A, B, and C are the opposite angles.
Oh, wait. The title of the article is the “Law of Signs.” Okay, according the law of signs, the quality of a show is inversely proportional to the number of signs in the show. Put another way, shows with lots of signs generally suck, especially if they’re comedy shows.
Here is the formula for the quality function: Q(n) = 1/n, where n is the number of signs in an episode or series. Notice that the quality function is undefined when n = 0. This is because there are no shows with zero signs. However, if you take the limit of the quality function as n → 0, you will find that it approaches an infinitely high (positive) quality. Also notice that as n → ∞ , Q → 0. As much as you or I would like to believe there are anime with literally zero quality, it’s simply impossible for that to be the case. An anime with an infinite number of signs would be ridiculous and might create a black hole or something.
Currently, in the year of our Lord two thousand and twelve, no anime production company has found a way to produce an anime with absolutely no signs. Maybe one day it’ll happen, and it’ll be the greatest anime of all time.
Contents [hide]
1 Examples
2 Some applications
3 History
4 Derivation
5 See also
6 References
Examples
The following are examples of how to calculate the quality of a show using the law of signs:
Given: an anime with 164 signs.
Using the law of signs, we conclude that
Q(164) = 1/164 ≈ 0.006098.
Given: an anime of 0.05 quality.
Q(n) = 0.05 = 1/n.
n = 1/0.05 = 20 signs.
Some applications
- The law of signs can be used to objectively measure the relative quality of anime, free from any personal biases. Calculating the quality of a show may save you time and brain cells should you deem a show unworthy of watching based on the result. However, because the law of signs cannot account for personal preference, it is up to the individual to discern a suitable threshold of quality for which he or she is willing to endure watching terrible anime with a shit-ton of signs (e.g., Q < 0.25 is usually too shitty for me).
- The law of signs and the law of opening and ending themes can be used together to predict the watchability of a show without having to watch an entire episode. One simply needs to open the subtitle track in Aegisub and count the number of signs or sign styles and plug that into the quality function, then watch the opening and ending themes. It should become obvious whether you would enjoy a show after doing that.
History
According to Yukiatsuruko, the law of signs was discovered in the 21st century after he first noticed how he generally hated shows with a bunch of stupid signs to read. He cited Sayonara Zetsubou Sensei and Acchi Kocchi as the initial inspiration for the law.
Derivation
Make a list of your favorite anime. Generally, if you list any of the following anime as one of your favorites, you have terrible taste and will likely take to the comments section complaining about the derivation of the law of signs: Acchi Kocchi, Bakemonogatari*, ef, Hyouka, Maria Holic, Nisemonogatari, or Sayonara Zetsubou Sensei, basically any SHAFT show. Note the list is not all inclusive. There are plenty of terrible shows with lots of signs I have failed to mention because I have forgotten about them.
(*The only exception is episode 12 of Bakemonogatari. It also has the least number of signs, so clearly, the law of signs holds.)
So, if your list doesn’t contain any of the aforementioned shows, you may continue on. With your list, notice how your favorite shows probably have very few signs. (Once again, if they don’t, you have bad taste.) Among those shows, you should also notice that among those favorite shows, your absolute favorite probably has the least. Thus, Yukiatsuruko realized people typically enjoy shows that emphasize characterization or plot ever stupid fucking signs in your face every god damn second. He formulated the law of signs and the quality function based on the quality of a show decreasing as the number of signs increased.
See also
- Law of opening and ending themes
- Rule of adaptations
References
1. ^ Chilled, Brian and Excelion, R.H. Mathematics in Anime, New York: Anime Assoc. Amer., pp. 1-4, 2012.
All anime is shit and you’re a faggot for watching any of it.
Truer words have never been spoken.
“Okay, according the law of signs, the quality of a show is inversely proportional to the number of signs in the show.”
Sakurasou has lots of signs.
I don’t see too many.
http://privatepaste.com/084ce70c11
…Really?
>implying
And thus, your “law of signs” was broken.
I knew it, from the start. Sutai will do this.
Mathematicians hate sines because evaluating oscillating functions is effort.
Fansubbers hate signs because typesetting is effort.
This “law” doesn’t hold true for every show, so like with every mathematical proof one wrong statement is enough to make it false.
Joshiraku, infinite signs – great show.
Now where do I find these two ?
Law of opening and ending themes
Rule of adaptations
PS: Bakemonogatari was great, so is it’s sequels.
So many implications.
Joshiraku really didn’t have that many signs, all things considered.
So the law of signs states the less = the better? So why is btooom! Excruciatingly bad while having so little signs.
Does not mean that btooom! will be not bad if it has many sign.
I’d rather be blinded with To LOVE-Ru lightbeams than watch sick men/women bombing each other to death.