Script Review: [EveTaku] GJ-bu – 02 This entry was posted by brainchild.
This show went to shit very quickly.
f/a/ggotry: 5/5 – Really fucking gay. Honorifics included; opening and ending themes have English translation, romaji, and k-timing; words are arbitrarily left untranslated.
“It tastes completely different than what my brother usually prepares for me.”
Substituting “the one” for coffee is some ESL shit.
Once again, describing someone who’s good at something as a “genius [noun]” generally sounds stupid (no pun intended), especially when it’s something like a barista. Really? A genius barista? Okay, EveTaku.
Quite reddening? I know she’s a butler-ish maid, but come on. This doesn’t really make sense for her to say.
Oh my goodness. Is your editor even trying/existent? I thought you guys were good. I must’ve heard wrong.
“Action-based/-centric” might be an appropriate response if she asked what the book was like, but action-based is not a genre – action/adventure is. Now that I think about it more, going from “What genre is it?” to “Well, it’s not action-based” is terrible, too. Saying something like “It’s not action/adventure if that’s what you’re thinking. It’s romance” would be more sensible. I might even let you use a semicolon if you use that line.
I’d probably move “I’m guessing” to the front and nix “so.” EveTaku’s choice is good, though. It’s a pretty natural construction during conversation.
EveTaku pls. I’m not even sure if this is even edited anymore. If it isn’t, props to the translator for being pretty good at English. If it is, well… lol. “Scheming [noun]” doesn’t really work with this sentence structure.
“You’re quite the schemer, Shinomiya-kun,” if you want to keep scheme in there; “Clever girl,” if you want to troll.
“What do you mean?”
Gold star for using an idiom correctly!
Another example. Still, I must advise against going overboard with o9k idioms every release. Using them once in a while can make dialogue sound more natural, but replacing perfectly normal-sounding lines with idioms just because you know them can make a release weaker and draw undue attention to the subs. It’s not like English speakers use idioms at every opportunity. Sometimes, people just say what they mean.
They ride single file to hide their numbers.
Seriously though, this line would probably sound better with “there’s no telling.” Also, it should be “we assassins.” Putting it all together now, “There’s no telling if we assassins will come alone.” This goes back to the overuse of idiomatic phrases.
Is it time to pan up to the sky?
More nonsensical responses. A+ quality.
Mother. Fucking. British. English. Quotes. FFFFFFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK. Lucky for them, there wasn’t a chance to see if their translator/editor actually knows how quotation marks work in all situations. Oh well…
“Just leave her alone.”
Reading “let her be” twice is awkward. Once would’ve sufficed.
What does this even mean?
I can forgive EveTaku because everyone sucks at using “theory” and “prove” in the scientific sense of the words, but damn, this girl is supposed to be Miss Perfect or something, so she should know how to use scientific phrases.
I don’t think you can say that someone is “good at collecting things.” Finding them, maybe. Perhaps she means “You have a knack for finding interesting things, Mao.” I don’t really know if Mao actually catches the cicadas, but that would also change the line.
TL;DR? It’s okay.
Not much happened this episode, so there weren’t many opportunities for EveTaku to stand out, but that doesn’t excuse a lot of the really bad lines. If anything, a slow episode should’ve been the perfect opportunity for me to just zone out and watch the episode without pausing for out of place dialogue. It’s just the characters talking, not really joking at all. On the whole, their release is barely better than Anime-Koi, if even. Both had their share of idiom failures and nonsensical lines.