Translation review: [Doki] Date A Live 02 This entry was posted by Vale.
Why is this line there for so long?
“… training to make Spirits fall for you.” Capture just doesn’t capture the meaning.
In this case changing the phrasing so that “love you” isn’t in it would be better to express her shy hesitation. Also, why can’t I hold all these ellipses?
Rather “make a move”.
I can’t not mention that there’s a really annoying grain in the video.
AI, not “data”.
“This is the final warning.”
“We don’t have enough options this way.”
I’m honestly impressed. Doki typeset all the signs I could spot so far, even the scrolling text earlier on Tonomachi’s phone and these names too… Though I think that 星姫 isn’t normally read as Orihime, rather as Kirara.
… and in the very next scene they don’t typeset the mood-o-meter. Why? The green scrolling text in the next scene isn’t done either.
Time to pick those nits. 十香 shouldn’t be romanized as Touka, because it’s written as とおか and not とうか. Tooka or Tohka.
隊長is not a rank, it’s a position. Therefore not “master sergeant” (which would be 曹長 by the way), but “commander”.
But it couldn’t be helped, idiot!
The song translations are a bit too derpy and literal.
Conclusion: Good
Accuracy: 8/10; Flow: 6/10; Atmosphere: 8/10
Another fine release from Doki. The (presence of) typesetting is quite impressive. There weren’t any real issues with the translation, and I’d say that even those that I pointed out were more likely the result of editing (or the lack thereof). The English doesn’t flow all so well, but I’ll leave judging the editing to more competent people. All I can say is that the translation is fine.