Translation review: [EveTaku] Shingeki no Kyojin 02 This entry was posted by Vale.
The lyrics translation, while mostly accurate (as far as I can check), reads so awkward…
This doesn’t connect to the previous line as it should (“throw away your luggage so that we can get more people on board”).
Not “should not”, but “can not”. “We can’t possibly handle such a crisis by ourselves!”
I know the translator is a radical literalist, but this isn’t English.
I thought losing your mind just happens then you stay like that. How can you continuously lose your mind? (Also, this isn’t how a scared kid talks.)
“That’s one day’s worth.” (Referring to the bread.)
That “aware” makes it sound like he’s reprimanding Eren or something. “You know how the outer we come from the more they look down on us.”
After the previous line the subject of this one are the outsiders. The people should’ve eaten each other? Either way, it’s not well phrased.
Nice one.
Conclusion: Okay
Accuracy: 8/10; Flow: 7/10; Atmosphere: 6/10
Say I’m nitpicking, but this release, although pretty much accurate when it comes to the literal meaning, fails to catch the tone for most of it. I wish they’d put a bit more effort into editing it, because that was what made the translation unenjoyable for me.
To be honest, I thought I put quite a lot of effort into this. I guess it just goes to show that effort alone doesn’t always equate to a better final product. Anyway, thanks for the minor critique on the editing aspect on the script (despite this being a TL review). I’ll keep the points you’ve raised in mind for future episodes.
Just passing by and not particularly espousing any approach, but my feeling is that editing a relatively literal script usually requires more effort. Hence there can be a lot of effort and probably many changes, yet have enough things slipping through that some people (but maybe not others) could find many lines stiff or strange.