Script/typesetting review: [Anime-Koi] Stella Jogakuin Koutouka C3-bu – 02

Sorry this is a bit late, but better late than never.

For those of you unable to read the filename.

For those of you unable to read the filename.

Editing
Typesetting
Grades

Editing

[Anime-Koi] Stella Jogakuin Koutouka C3-bu - 02 [h264-720p][73764BF2].mkv_snapshot_03.51_[2013.07.29_12.16.23]

I don’t think you need “to hold” in this sentence.

[Anime-Koi] Stella Jogakuin Koutouka C3-bu - 02 [h264-720p][73764BF2].mkv_snapshot_03.53_[2013.07.29_12.17.22]

I don’t see how this follows. “It gently falls apart in my mouth yet is solid in my hand.” is basically what the previous lines say. What kind of texture does she even mean? Well, that might be what the lines say, but it doesn’t really connect since going by the translation she isn’t really talking about the texture of the rice ball, but the composition.

[Anime-Koi] Stella Jogakuin Koutouka C3-bu - 02 [h264-720p][73764BF2].mkv_snapshot_06.31_[2013.07.29_12.24.34]

I’d remove “up”. Or maybe change it to “the club”.

[Anime-Koi] Stella Jogakuin Koutouka C3-bu - 02 [h264-720p][73764BF2].mkv_snapshot_06.44_[2013.07.29_12.26.26]

[Anime-Koi] Stella Jogakuin Koutouka C3-bu - 02 [h264-720p][73764BF2].mkv_snapshot_06.47_[2013.07.29_12.26.39]

“Which is?”

[Anime-Koi] Stella Jogakuin Koutouka C3-bu - 02 [h264-720p][73764BF2].mkv_snapshot_06.50_[2013.07.29_12.31.49]

“Slap her with a wad of cash”? I think that’s what they were going for, but it’s pretty weird either way. I’m sure there’s a better idiom for “throw money at the problem.”

[Anime-Koi] Stella Jogakuin Koutouka C3-bu - 02 [h264-720p][73764BF2].mkv_snapshot_07.34_[2013.07.29_12.34.09]

I hope this is supposed to be “drop my stuff off first” and she isn’t literally just dropping it.

[Anime-Koi] Stella Jogakuin Koutouka C3-bu - 02 [h264-720p][73764BF2].mkv_snapshot_07.51_[2013.07.29_12.35.34]

Don’t need both “actually” and “really” there. She already sounds uncertain enough with one of them.

[Anime-Koi] Stella Jogakuin Koutouka C3-bu - 02 [h264-720p][73764BF2].mkv_snapshot_08.52_[2013.07.29_12.39.17]

I must be missing something here.

[Anime-Koi] Stella Jogakuin Koutouka C3-bu - 02 [h264-720p][73764BF2].mkv_snapshot_12.25_[2013.07.29_12.51.03]

[Anime-Koi] Stella Jogakuin Koutouka C3-bu - 02 [h264-720p][73764BF2].mkv_snapshot_12.26_[2013.07.29_12.51.08]

What is the “then” doing in the second sentence? How do these sentences even connect? The second should be something like “Let’s decide this with a battle.”

[Anime-Koi] Stella Jogakuin Koutouka C3-bu - 02 [h264-720p][73764BF2].mkv_snapshot_13.19_[2013.07.29_12.54.19]

I see, a comma splice. Try something like “So it’s an escort mission.”

[Anime-Koi] Stella Jogakuin Koutouka C3-bu - 02 [h264-720p][73764BF2].mkv_snapshot_13.57_[2013.07.29_12.59.57]

From->on.

[Anime-Koi] Stella Jogakuin Koutouka C3-bu - 02 [h264-720p][73764BF2].mkv_snapshot_17.16_[2013.07.29_13.09.12]

This is why I hate honorifics. (Not that I’m lowering their grade for this. Just saying.)

[Anime-Koi] Stella Jogakuin Koutouka C3-bu - 02 [h264-720p][73764BF2].mkv_snapshot_18.58_[2013.07.29_13.15.33]

[Anime-Koi] Stella Jogakuin Koutouka C3-bu - 02 [h264-720p][73764BF2].mkv_snapshot_19.01_[2013.07.29_13.15.42]

[Anime-Koi] Stella Jogakuin Koutouka C3-bu - 02 [h264-720p][73764BF2].mkv_snapshot_19.03_[2013.07.29_13.15.48]

She says “yeah” after the second line but for some reason they didn’t sub it which makes the second and third line not connect at all.

[Anime-Koi] Stella Jogakuin Koutouka C3-bu - 02 [h264-720p][73764BF2].mkv_snapshot_20.10_[2013.07.29_13.19.02]

-as

[Anime-Koi] Stella Jogakuin Koutouka C3-bu - 02 [h264-720p][73764BF2].mkv_snapshot_21.14_[2013.07.29_13.20.49]

-maybe

[Anime-Koi] Stella Jogakuin Koutouka C3-bu - 02 [h264-720p][73764BF2].mkv_snapshot_21.22_[2013.07.29_13.21.34]

“Actually, there was this meeting the other day…”

[Anime-Koi] Stella Jogakuin Koutouka C3-bu - 02 [h264-720p][73764BF2].mkv_snapshot_23.41_[2013.07.29_13.26.22]

“Curry’s the next best thing after airsoft!” “Curry’s the best after a game of airsoft!” so it’s less ambiguous, seeing as I got confused the first time. Also, I think they translated “sabage” as something different in the ED but #YOLO.

[Anime-Koi] Stella Jogakuin Koutouka C3-bu - 02 [h264-720p][73764BF2].mkv_snapshot_23.47_[2013.07.29_13.28.16]

Unless A-Koi uses British English, these should be “Mr.” with a period.

Typesetting

[Anime-Koi] Stella Jogakuin Koutouka C3-bu - 02 [h264-720p][73764BF2].mkv_snapshot_02.21_[2013.07.29_12.11.41]

Not off to a good start. Does this even have blur?

[Anime-Koi] Stella Jogakuin Koutouka C3-bu - 02 [h264-720p][73764BF2].mkv_snapshot_02.23_[2013.07.29_12.13.47]

Looks like this just has one layer. Not good.

[Anime-Koi] Stella Jogakuin Koutouka C3-bu - 02 [h264-720p][73764BF2].mkv_snapshot_09.52_[2013.07.29_12.42.35]

Quality clipping at the top. The placement of some of the parts of this sign is way off too. Also, there’s supposed to be a heart symbol in the “C3 Club”. The other times this sign shows up have it, at least.

[Anime-Koi] Stella Jogakuin Koutouka C3-bu - 02 [h264-720p][73764BF2].mkv_snapshot_10.38_[2013.07.29_12.46.27]

[Anime-Koi] Stella Jogakuin Koutouka C3-bu - 02 [h264-720p][73764BF2].mkv_snapshot_10.59_[2013.07.29_12.47.52]

[Anime-Koi] Stella Jogakuin Koutouka C3-bu - 02 [h264-720p][73764BF2].mkv_snapshot_13.49_[2013.07.29_12.55.41]

More blur please.

[Anime-Koi] Stella Jogakuin Koutouka C3-bu - 02 [h264-720p][73764BF2].mkv_snapshot_13.51_[2013.07.29_12.56.58]

Forgot the fade?

[Anime-Koi] Stella Jogakuin Koutouka C3-bu - 02 [h264-720p][73764BF2].mkv_snapshot_13.56_[2013.07.29_12.58.42]

This is seriously Hadena-level typesetting.

[Anime-Koi] Stella Jogakuin Koutouka C3-bu - 02 [h264-720p][73764BF2].mkv_snapshot_15.00_[2013.07.29_13.02.59]

[Anime-Koi] Stella Jogakuin Koutouka C3-bu - 02 [h264-720p][73764BF2].mkv_snapshot_15.08_[2013.07.29_13.04.12]

Please use another layer for signs like these so all 3 parts can have blur.

[Anime-Koi] Stella Jogakuin Koutouka C3-bu - 02 [h264-720p][73764BF2].mkv_snapshot_15.18_[2013.07.29_13.05.13]

Did the typesetter even look at this sign or did s/he just copy it from the last time it appeared and hoped it looked right?

Spoilers: the second option.

[Anime-Koi] Stella Jogakuin Koutouka C3-bu - 02 [h264-720p][73764BF2].mkv_snapshot_23.41_[2013.07.29_13.26.22]

I cry everytim.

[Anime-Koi] Stella Jogakuin Koutouka C3-bu - 02 [h264-720p][73764BF2].mkv_snapshot_23.47_[2013.07.29_13.28.16]

There are a lot like these and they’re okay. A bit too much blur, though.

[Anime-Koi] Stella Jogakuin Koutouka C3-bu - 02 [h264-720p][73764BF2].mkv_snapshot_24.03_[2013.07.29_13.30.11]

And this has way too much blur.

Actually, you know, I bet if I look I’ll find a lot of these signs just have \be1 instead of \blur with values.

Grades

Editing: 3.5/5. At the surface, the script is decent. However, there are a lot of small issues underneath the surface. Although I haven’t watched any other releases yet, I think I can safely say this is not that great.

Typesetting: D. Pretty fucking bad. I don’t think any of the signs are typeset well.

Timing: Acceptable but not great.

This entry was posted by herkz.

9 thoughts on “Script/typesetting review: [Anime-Koi] Stella Jogakuin Koutouka C3-bu – 02

  1. >This is why I hate honorifics. (Not that I’m lowering their grade for this. Just saying.)
    you should lower their grade, imo

  2. If you can’t even point out any of the timing errors why bother gibing shit like “acceptable, but not great”?

    Biased as fuck.

    • I’m just that bored, so…

      Overall, I’d use a bit less lead-in, about 100 ms less, though I wouldn’t shave off points for that unless someone goes full retard and uses 300 ms or something (barring keyframe snaps of course). However, less lead-in would help avoid the main issue I found which is lack of snapping to the beginning of scenes. Now, as herkz noted on his review of Commie’s release (which I timed), I tend to snap stuff more often than I should, but I’m trying to hold back on that here. In particular:

      Line 212 – Dialogue: 10,0:04:29.07,0:04:30.80,Default,,0,0,0,,Hey, Master!
      //Snap beginning to keyframe, 4 frames earlier (I’d use 5-6 as threshold, the equivalent of about 200-250 ms).

      Line 219 – Dialogue: 10,0:04:51.53,0:04:54.94,Default,,0,0,0,,Seems like I’ll have to take \Ncare of this for a little longer.
      //I’d snap the end of this one to the keyframe right before as it only cuts 1 short syllable off, but I guess this is disputable.

      Line 220 – Dialogue: 10,0:04:56.44,0:04:58.34,Default,,0,0,0,,Be firm without being stiff.
      //Keyframe 5 frames earlier.

      Line 226 – Dialogue: 10,0:05:14.14,0:05:18.15,Default,,0,0,0,,{\i1}Yurarin can do that, even though nobody ever taught her?
      //Snap end to keyframe, 6 frames after.

      Line 232 – Dialogue: 10,0:05:37.99,0:05:41.45,Default,,0,0,0,,I was recruited by some weird people with guns,
      //Keyframe 4 frames earlier.

      Line 237 – Dialogue: 10,0:06:10.09,0:06:14.54,Default,,0,0,0,,It’s Kari-chan’s fault. She scared Yuracchi.
      //I’d split this, since there’s a scene change and a pause of a second in the middle.

      Line 238 – Dialogue: 10,0:06:16.27,0:06:17.83,Default,,0,0,0,,Do you think so?
      //Keyframe 4 frames earlier.

      Line 253 – Dialogue: 10,0:07:08.08,0:07:12.78,Default,,0,0,0,,Yeah. I’m president of that club of weird gunslinger girls.
      //Keyfame 5 frames earlier.

      Line 279 – Dialogue: 10,0:08:52.01,0:08:54.72,Default,,0,0,0,,I heard you’re roommates with Lil’ Yura!
      //Snapped to keyframe that isn’t a scene change, so it starts a bit too late.

      Line 285 – Dialogue: 10,0:09:07.54,0:09:12.39,Default,,0,0,0,,Could it be that you’re planning \Nsomething, Sono-chan? Is that it?
      //I’d split this.

      Line 316 – Dialogue: 10,0:11:54.64,0:11:56.86,Default,,0,0,0,,Um… I’m sorry.
      //Has no lead-in.

      Line 322 – Dialogue: 10,0:12:11.52,0:12:12.73,Default,,0,0,0,,That’s…
      //Has no lead-in. Stupid S sounds, I know.

      Line 323 – Dialogue: 10,0:12:13.73,0:12:16.17,Default,,0,0,0,,Which side are you on, Yuracchi?
      //Keyframe 5 frames earlier.

      Line 328 – Dialogue: 10,0:12:29.42,0:12:30.38,Default,,0,0,0,,What?
      //Technically she says “Eh?” twice and only the first one is timed, but I don’t even agree with subbing such “universal” sounds (I’m not dumb/deaf, dear translators) so whatever.

      Line 344 – Dialogue: 10,0:13:21.11,0:13:26.27,Default,,0,0,0,,I don’t really get it, but won’t you get shot to pieces?
      //Keyframe 4 frames earlier.

      Line 359 – Dialogue: 10,0:14:19.73,0:14:25.32,Default,,0,0,0,,{\q2}There are three sets of stairs: one in the front, \Nand one each at the east and west sides.
      //This one has like an extra 400 ms of lead-in what the fuck.

      Line 364 – Dialogue: 10,0:14:40.64,0:14:43.57,Default,,0,0,0,,That looks so wrong on you, it hurts.
      //Keyframe 5 frames after it ends. I understand why this one was snapped to the wrong keyframe and thus it doesn’t as noticeable as most other examples, but still.

      Between lines 369 and 370 – Missing line (“Yoshi.”). Okay, not strictly a timing thing, but hey, the timer’s the one most likely to notice missing lines.

      Line 376 – Dialogue: 10,0:15:44.02,0:15:44.67,Default,,0,0,0,,Hang on.
      //End is snapped to the wrong keyframe.

      Line 393 – Dialogue: 10,0:17:11.64,0:17:13.89,Default,,0,0,0,,So which window are you gonna use?
      //No lead in. Fucking S sounds.

      Line 396 – Dialogue: 10,0:17:28.11,0:17:29.50,Default,,0,0,0,,There!
      //Keyframe 8 frames after it ends, though I’d probably just use less lead-out.

      Lines 412 and 413 – 5 empty frames between them, make continuous.

      Line 418 – Dialogue: 10,0:19:46.91,0:19:47.91,Default,,0,0,0,,It’s over then!
      //No lead-out.

      Line 434 – Dialogue: 10,0:20:58.27,0:21:01.37,Overlapped,,0,0,0,,{\an8}I remember that. The teachers got so mad at us.
      //Each sentence belongs to a different character (Karira, then Sonora). Granted, then the translation makes no sense (Karira saying “I remember that” to her own previous line?), so the timer can’t really be blamed for this.

      Line 443 – Dialogue: 10,0:21:11.30,0:21:14.21,Overlapped,,0,0,0,,We should come up with a proper plan next time. {\an8}
      //Starts way too late. Timing overlapping dialogue sucks, I know.

      Line 454 – Dialogue: 10,0:23:42.98,0:23:44.61,Default,,0,0,0,,I love it with red pickles.
      //Starts 1 frame after “scene change”. I know, I know, it’s not a “proper” scene change, but it’s still noticeable. This repeats a few times throughout the preview.

      Nitpicking? Perhaps, but that’s the name of the game for timing. ( ¯‿¯)

      And this isn’t really the timer’s responsibility but
      http://i.imgur.com/0lGtudq.jpg
      The sign on the swimsuit disappears after this frame, way before it should.

      Also god this script is a mess, pls sort by time or something, my autism is screaming. :< I think the OP was split in 2 blocks in different parts of the script…

    • Because it’s not very important and I just watch the episode like a regular leecher aka in MPC, not Aegisub or some shit.

      But you’re not a very good timer, sorry.

      • And you’re not a very good reviewer.

        >Reviewing 3 different groups with 3 different episodes where clearly the amount and difficulty of typesetting is different.

        • Doesn’t really change anything. A-Koi’s typesetting is shitty, Commie’s is okay, and Vivid’s is good. Effort does not trump skill in this arena. I don’t care if A-Koi put a shitload of effort into episode 1, because the typesetting is still bad.

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