Script Review: Crunchyroll/Aniplex – Vividred Operation – 01 This entry was posted by brainchild.
First of all, her head is really fucked up.
Second, s/runs/fuels
“Designed,” “created,” “came up with the idea for,” etc.
Anything but “thought up” would sound better.
The r/a/ge is palpable.
That reminds me. Complete sentences are separated by periods, semicolons, or colons.
Wow, that’s a lot of mayo.
Up I go, if you know what I’m sayin’.
The act of man line could definitely be improved, but the main problem is “who,” which should be “what” instead.
“What else could it be, Director?”
Abbreviating professor is kind of weird compared to Mr., Mrs., Dr., etc. Abbreviating doctor would’ve been better.
The second line would sound better as “It’ll be okay. I promise.” Saying theĀ original aloud is a little cumbersome, so imagine that in a life or death situation. Just no.
“Hostile has broken through the second defensive line. If this keeps up, it’ll reach the shore!”
“#2 picket line” is just… what? There’s only one bogey that’s not even human, so there’s no reason to use “they.”
TL;DR? It’s good.
The dialogue in this show doesn’t seem very complicated or deep. Everything made sense. The one line above is the only absolutely atrocious offender.
However, Crunchyroll does latecast the show, if that matters to you.