Script/typesetting review: [Commie] Stella Jogakuin Koutouka C3-bu – 03

Next up is >Commie.

You are this mad.

You are this mad.

Editing
Typesetting
Grades

Editing

[Commie] Stella Jogakuin Koutouka C3-bu - 03 [CE76AC5E].mkv_snapshot_00.55_[2013.07.29_15.24.40]

Is airsoft really a sport you can “play”? I might change it to club members or something, though I’m not sure that’s much better. It definitely sounds weird in any case.

[Commie] Stella Jogakuin Koutouka C3-bu - 03 [CE76AC5E].mkv_snapshot_01.01_[2013.07.29_14.22.34]

I really like “airsoft skirmish grounds.” I dunno if the other groups used it, but it’s a really nice way to translate the term.

[Commie] Stella Jogakuin Koutouka C3-bu - 03 [CE76AC5E].mkv_snapshot_01.55_[2013.07.29_14.27.17]

I don’t usually mention the OP or ED translations, but Commie’s was way better than Anime-Koi’s. It actually sounds like a song instead of random unrelated lines that are really stiff.

[Commie] Stella Jogakuin Koutouka C3-bu - 03 [CE76AC5E].mkv_snapshot_03.05_[2013.07.29_14.32.47]

Unfortunately, this is my suggestion, so I can’t really give them points for it. But I think it’s great. I’m not sure most people would get it if they just left it as “Yurappyon” or whatever.

[Commie] Stella Jogakuin Koutouka C3-bu - 03 [CE76AC5E].mkv_snapshot_03.22_[2013.07.29_14.34.55]

Although it’s not wrong to have that first comma, I would remove it.

[Commie] Stella Jogakuin Koutouka C3-bu - 03 [CE76AC5E].mkv_snapshot_03.55_[2013.07.29_14.36.41]

“You don’t have to change it if you don’t want to” or something like that is a bit less awkward.

[Commie] Stella Jogakuin Koutouka C3-bu - 03 [CE76AC5E].mkv_snapshot_05.13_[2013.07.29_14.39.33]

Karila’s lines are great.

[Commie] Stella Jogakuin Koutouka C3-bu - 03 [CE76AC5E].mkv_snapshot_08.29_[2013.07.29_14.45.06]

Really not sure why they changed “beginner’s luck” to “newbie luck”. The former is what it’s actually called and used considerably more.

[Commie] Stella Jogakuin Koutouka C3-bu - 03 [CE76AC5E].mkv_snapshot_09.27_[2013.07.29_14.47.30]

See how this line from the preview actually makes sense and isn’t ambiguous?

[Commie] Stella Jogakuin Koutouka C3-bu - 03 [CE76AC5E].mkv_snapshot_13.29_[2013.07.29_14.54.54]

lel

[Commie] Stella Jogakuin Koutouka C3-bu - 03 [CE76AC5E].mkv_snapshot_14.39_[2013.07.29_14.56.53]

Missing italics 🙁

[Commie] Stella Jogakuin Koutouka C3-bu - 03 [CE76AC5E].mkv_snapshot_15.09_[2013.07.29_14.58.03]

Her lines here are missing italics too.

[Commie] Stella Jogakuin Koutouka C3-bu - 03 [CE76AC5E].mkv_snapshot_15.48_[2013.07.29_14.59.27]

YES! YES!

[Commie] Stella Jogakuin Koutouka C3-bu - 03 [CE76AC5E].mkv_snapshot_15.53_[2013.07.29_15.01.55]

how2italics

[Commie] Stella Jogakuin Koutouka C3-bu - 03 [CE76AC5E].mkv_snapshot_17.07_[2013.07.29_15.04.25]

end->very end

[Commie] Stella Jogakuin Koutouka C3-bu - 03 [CE76AC5E].mkv_snapshot_18.18_[2013.07.29_15.10.06]

B-But there’s no curse words in Japanese. And high school girls would never cuss! But really, it works perfectly here.

[Commie] Stella Jogakuin Koutouka C3-bu - 03 [CE76AC5E].mkv_snapshot_21.35_[2013.07.29_15.15.46]

I bet they’re glad they translated her name before.

Typesetting

[Commie] Stella Jogakuin Koutouka C3-bu - 03 [CE76AC5E].mkv_snapshot_00.43_[2013.07.29_14.19.04]

The top part could use more \fax on the right half and it’d probably work better as a bolder font. The movement also looks a little weird but it’s hard to tell just from looking what’s wrong.

[Commie] Stella Jogakuin Koutouka C3-bu - 03 [CE76AC5E].mkv_snapshot_01.17_[2013.07.29_14.24.56]

I like this way more than what Anime-Koi did. I really have no idea why they masked it, especially since it fades in and the mask looks a little weird. Anyway, this looks like it could use slightly more blur, but it’s great otherwise.

[Commie] Stella Jogakuin Koutouka C3-bu - 03 [CE76AC5E].mkv_snapshot_02.42_[2013.07.29_14.29.05]

A little too much blur and the border is too dark (probably because too much blur).

[Commie] Stella Jogakuin Koutouka C3-bu - 03 [CE76AC5E].mkv_snapshot_02.53_[2013.07.29_14.30.33]

Although people can’t see the original here, these signs should really have more blur as they stick out a little bit. I also liked how they moved the dialogue over a bit out of the way.

[Commie] Stella Jogakuin Koutouka C3-bu - 03 [CE76AC5E].mkv_snapshot_03.12_[2013.07.29_14.34.23]

Top layer is too dark. Also I don’t really see the problem with masking this.

[Commie] Stella Jogakuin Koutouka C3-bu - 03 [CE76AC5E].mkv_snapshot_09.27_[2013.07.29_14.47.30]

More blur pls.

[Commie] Stella Jogakuin Koutouka C3-bu - 03 [CE76AC5E].mkv_snapshot_10.36_[2013.07.29_14.50.23]

Not sure why the other two aren’t typeset. Also, more blurrrrr.

[Commie] Stella Jogakuin Koutouka C3-bu - 03 [CE76AC5E].mkv_snapshot_12.23_[2013.07.29_14.53.03]

I can deal with this.

[Commie] Stella Jogakuin Koutouka C3-bu - 03 [CE76AC5E].mkv_snapshot_23.14_[2013.07.29_15.18.36]

IDK if this really counts as typesetting, but this part of the ED was cool as fuck.

[Commie] Stella Jogakuin Koutouka C3-bu - 03 [CE76AC5E].mkv_snapshot_23.41_[2013.07.29_15.20.15]

See above.

[Commie] Stella Jogakuin Koutouka C3-bu - 03 [CE76AC5E].mkv_snapshot_24.02_[2013.07.29_15.21.18]

I’m not really sure what’s going on here. The top layer should have barely any blur and the bottom should have more than it does.

Grades

Editing: 4.5/5 Not much to have a problem with here. There’s a few lines I didn’t like (and a lot of missing italics >:() but I really liked how they translated all the airsoft terminology compared to Anime-Koi and CR.

Typesetting: C+. Still lots of room to improve here, but some signs were quite fine.

Timing: A few lines were snapped to keyframes when they shouldn’t’ve been, but otherwise no problems.

This entry was posted by herkz.

3 thoughts on “Script/typesetting review: [Commie] Stella Jogakuin Koutouka C3-bu – 03

  1. I still have no idea why the had to put the ‘C3’ into the manga / anime. The military concept doesn’t really apply to this, in the sense that they’re basically doing infantry / rifleman-equivalent work, not actual command / control / communication (See: http://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Command,_control,_and_communications)(Okay, maybe a bit of the last one, but still). And where I’ve been involved with these things, it’s been more of an Air Force thing than anything else (http://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Air_Warfare_Officer_–_Command,_Control_and_Communications) Then again, Nobody Cares, so whatever.

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